Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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Liars go to hell! -God

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It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Knock Knock Business Man: Who's There? Al Qeada Business Man: Al Qeada who? Al Qeada is flying an airplane into your building Then a commercial airplane flew into the oddly placed door on the 95th floor of the North Tower. That's how 9/11 happened. Have a nice day.

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CHEEZECAKE

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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How does a blonde get pregnant? (I don't know) And you thought blondes were dumb.

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Winking at old people

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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A man buys free health care...

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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62

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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