How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did the chicken cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

4 African men walk into a convientent store, withdrawal 50$ from there primary bank accounts and buy gas for the ride to there jobs at McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why does your mom moan and scream at night? She had a rough childhood, filled with all types of despair and disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is green, ugly and can't empty his bowels without exerting a tremendous amount of energy? A constipated, ugly, green thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get a black person out of a tree? You grab a ladder and help them down.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why is your mom crying? i don't know but you should be nice and offer your support.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the Latino feel uncomfortable during anal, vaginal, and oral sex simultaneously? Because she was being raped by three men.

thumb_up thumb_down

So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats Orange,Leathery gets passed around by sweaty dudes and the next name will start with an S Snooki

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops