Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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What is a grammatically incorrect equestrian? An stallion.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it was born yesterday.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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The

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Eggplant.

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What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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Why did German "shower heads" have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers.

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what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

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I'm Spartacus

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An Unicorn walks into a club, the bartender promised to quit drugs and thanks to that his family didn't fall apart and he lived happily till he was 89 when he passed away surrounded by loved ones.

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How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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