What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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So a seal walks into a club...

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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There were a boy with cancer, and when a said "were" is because he is dead now

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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Magic Johnson has AIDS

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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whens your birthday? July 16th What year? Every year

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

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your moms so fat she has kankles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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