Jhon is riding his wheelchair, but can't get up the driveway. Lucky a stranger passes by. Jhon: Can you help me please sir? Stranger: No

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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Me and my friend wanted to burn some calories so we found a fat kid and lit him on fire!

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WILLY

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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whats up with that? i'm from jersy

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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Your mom is so fat that I worry she may develop diabetes.

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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