Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

Roses are red Im adopted

Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

Why did the lorry cross the road? It was swerving to avoid a small child. Unfortunately the driver's reactions were too slow and he hit the kid. After a week fighting for their life in hospital the child fibaly died. There wasn't a scratch on the lorry though.

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

Women's rights

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

ermm Hello ? what about me says rishi with a tear down his eye

What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...