What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

Turkeys are obese

What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

whats 7+4? 74

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

MR MC CANN WHATS THE ANSWER

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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