What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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A woman walking alone through a poor area of town. She is approached by a man who proceeds to mug her, rape her, and murder her.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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What has 4 legs and doesn't move? A child born in Chernobyl.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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you give like i give lomain

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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What's blue and smells like sky? Sky

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Jewwy Jewstein

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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