In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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a man walks into a house... then realizes its not his house and leaves.

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

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When life gives you lemons, Commit felonies

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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