Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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Asexuals aren't known for f***ing around.

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who do you call those who give this joke a thumbs down? people

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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How many republicans does it take to raise the debt ceiling? Technically, none, as the president has the right to do this based on the 14th amendment.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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