Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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Brain fart

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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what did god say when we made his first black person oops i acidenlty burnt it

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What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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What's the difference between a melon and a baby? You have to cut open the melon before you can eat it

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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