Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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What's funnier then a dead baby. Two dead babies.

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Do the roar!

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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How do you make a priest cry? ... You kill his family

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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