Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

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What does Michael have in common with NASA? Not a lot.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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Your mother sleeps around so much that I worry that she may be taking too much medicine for her insomnia.

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Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

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As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

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I got a boner from the waitress touching my shoulder, please dislike this

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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A Canadian man, American man and French man all go to a wive swapping party. The Canadian gets the American's wife, the American gets the French wife, and the Frenchman dies of a brain aneurism and the European wife. is very disappointed in her night.

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Question:Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Answer:Because she had no arms or legs. Question:What did little Susie get for Christmas? Answer: a bike, and cancer Question: what did little Susie get next Christmas? Answer: nothing, she didn't live that long... Knock knock Who's there Not little Susie

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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