a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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What did the Asian say after he had a nightmare? Nothing his nightmare was actually reality and a dishwasher fell on him and killed him.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

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A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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Take wrong turns

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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