Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

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So a guy walks in to a bar.... and orders a beer.

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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Why did jim all I over? He dies

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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Your mother has cupcakes, she offers you one, how many does she have left? The same amount she had before, you are full. Moral: Cupcakes.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

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So a man walks into a bar and gets a drink, then a man walks up to him and tries to start a fight, the first man says, "No thanks" and walks home.

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A whole 'nother.

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Why did the young boy fail his math test? Because he had down syndrome.

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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what kind of pizzas did the twin tower executives order on 9-11? two large "planes"

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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