roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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