Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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what does a horny frog say RUBIT RUBIT

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A duplicate joke on anti-joke.com in an attempt to get thumbs up. Sad, sad people...

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Q: what do you call a hooker you pay in spaghetti? A: a pasta-tute.

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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