Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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nock nock who's there is me u idiot we aranged this yesterday

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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Barbara Streisand

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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A Mexican man, an American man, and an Italian man go to a bridge. The mexican said "we have too much of this in our country!" and throws pasta into the water. The Mexican man says "we have to much of this in out country!" and throws a taco into the water. The American throws in the Mexican man and says "we have to much of these in our country!"

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You had ONE job. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to support your dying wife and ill child.

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

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Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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