you're momma's so fat, and i like fat chicks. is she home?

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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Why did the person get hit by a fridge? They didn't for its physically impossible for most people to throw a normal sized refrigerator.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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Why did the Iraqi airline crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

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A jewish man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, the bartender asks "where'd you get that" the man replied "at a pet shop"

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What did the man say ti the other man? Hi

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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