what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

What's big, old, and brown? A tree.

TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

What did the truck driver get when he ran over my cat? A pave low.

Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

What's worse than this That :(

What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

your dads so fat, he makes your mom look skinny.

Why did the skeleton cross the street. He didn't.

The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

What's the difference between Colonel Sanders and a barrel of olives? Colonel Sanders isn't in a barrel.

Small Penis.

How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

How do you save the world in 2012? You aren't. 2012 isn't going to happen!

The foreskin of a baby gorilla

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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