Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first one Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -He thought it was a game Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? -He had no arms Why did the girl fall off her bike? -She was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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