Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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sir ya look like ron weasly hhahahahaha LEL

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Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

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What did the Rabbit say to the horse? They are both completly differebt species and cannot communicate. Therefore, the rabbit said nothing.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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I am hot he is not can you beleive it I got shot

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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what does a horny frog say RUBIT RUBIT

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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