What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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38 studio's new game... Finance City

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Granny porn!

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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