What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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nick and a mexican were in a falling plane.. nick ate the mexican... that is all..

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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do you know whats worse than a bad joke on antijoke.com the holocaust.

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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Your adopted

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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