Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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relatable: school : 2+2=4 Homework: 2+4+2=8 Exam: oscer has 4 apple his train was 7 min early now caulate the mass of the sun

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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Your adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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