i have yougurt mit traktor

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Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

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Why did Poppy lose at sports day? Because she had a heart attack and died.

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A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Their was three black men that walked into a bar. They then ordered three drinks and had sex... I lied about walking into a bar

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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