What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why am I writing this...im bored

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Lois say to Peter? Who cares... Family Guy is a stupid show.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

shut up elliot

thumb_up thumb_down -19

This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops