what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

ok... let me think of something good! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ok... let me think of something good! Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! ok lets... wait.. wtf I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man cross the road? To rape the girl on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Dig Bick Your dislexic

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops