What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor! why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. why did the farmer cross the road? To get his chicken. Why didnt the farmer make it to the other side? He was hit by his tractor.

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Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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Why couldnt Hellen Keller drive? Because vehicles werent invented yet.

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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France had one revolution

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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What is the reward for the pimp who banged a bitch? HIV

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What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

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Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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Q. Which one do you hate more? Jews, Mexicans, or Asians. A. I hate all of them, but jews are annoying when they resist getting stuffed in the oven.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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You played so good! No, I played well. Okay??

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? Ones a person and the others a bench.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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