Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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whats funny about anti jokes? nothing hince the name ANTI.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

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what's worse than jamming a finger in a door the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust jamming 2 fingers in a door

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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Three guys walk into a bar. First guy goes up to the bartender and orders a beer. Second guy goes up and orders 2 beers. Third guy sits down and saves seats for the other two guys.

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Horse.

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What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Charlie Sheen

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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