Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

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WOw you have no life

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I bet I can say the the whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world. The whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world.

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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Little Anny fell on a sidewalk. Why isn't she crying? 'Cause I've thrown her out off the tenth floor.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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There are 5 men in a desert a black man a white man a gay a lesbian and a white woman they have no food or water and haven't had any in 3 weeks civilization is 1 mile away how many people live and which ones They all die you can only live 3 days without water.

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Oh you have herpes? yeah, there's an app for that.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? WNBA

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So this blond chick walks into a bar, and orders a drink.

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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