what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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"the president is black, my lambo's blue..." no hes not, hes bi-racial.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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will you like this joke my sources say no

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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A shark ate your mom

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophobe a blow job

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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