what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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1/= |_| (4|\| /234|) 7|-|15 (411 */0|_|/2531/= 4 1337 |-|4><0/2!!!1!

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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deez nuts

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What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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