A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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So, my friend David hasn't always been the sharpest tool in the shed. After all, he is a spoon.

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A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

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What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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i black man walks in to a bar.he askes if he can make out with you? the man says"no. black man says"why? the guy says"because im not homersexal. black man says"oh. boss says"hey i told you dont talk to black people. guy says"no i can ekplan.boss says no more of buts or buy. boss says" you are fired guy says"NO! boss says"yup both of you get out! guys say no two guards come to talk them out. THE END`DONE!

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Yo momma's so stupid, she got a moderately low score on her SATs, and sadly, was not excepted by any colleges she applied to, and never got a job. This is why she became depressed, and resorted to suicide to escape the growing pain.

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

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Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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The child was fired from his job.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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