Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's the difference between Miley Cyrus and a dead baby? One is a popular singer and the other is a dead baby.

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Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

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knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

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Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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Your d is so small that when you had a boner and walked into the wall....... YOU BROKE YOUR NOSE! Millimeter Monster bro

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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KILL WHITEY

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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Why did the student get the math question wrong? -Because hes dead

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If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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