"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realising the apple is the worm...

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Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

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What's funnier than 1 dead baby? Anything

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A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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Jesus hates you this I know, because Buddha told me soo.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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roses are red leather is black when god made you he was smoking crack

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

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What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

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Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops