I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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a blond girl walks into a bar

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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A: Do you like it B: No

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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