Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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How fast can you paint a fence with babies? Depends how fast you can throw them.

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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Your mums a potato

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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Why did the two children go sledding? Because they liked to sled.

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Q: What's the difference between a black man from San Diego and a white man from Miami? A: They live in different cities, and in the presidential election, the black man voted for Obama and the white man voted for McCain

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How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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