What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

What's the difference between a duck?

A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

All of these jokes are about white people

A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

How do you tell a bunch of Chinese people apart? Go up to each one and ask them their first and last names. The chances of any of them being the same is quite slim, giving each person their own identity.

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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