How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

thumb_up thumb_down

Frontbut-

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

thumb_up thumb_down

Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

thumb_up thumb_down

If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down

A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down

They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down

A baby seal walks into a club. :|

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

thumb_up thumb_down

Face...the other white meat!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why were the Dinosaurs wiped out? Porridge.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops