I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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a blond girl walks into a bar

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A: Do you like it B: No

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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