What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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You want to hear a joke? Republican

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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What's one plus one? two.

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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i googled who gives a fuck my name wasn't in the results

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Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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why did tyler detweiler walk across the street? he didnt he has ceribral palsey

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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