Man is even more eager to copulate than a donkey – his purse is what restrains him

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Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn’t have any arms. like your mom

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Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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The WPGA tour

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what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website? What did the man who was having Deja Vu post on this website?

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat whore.

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Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

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Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

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I got on a bus, and immediately found that sitting on a bus is boring. I will never climb on top of a bus again.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

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What do men like most of all? Let's not lie, BOOBIES!

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops