I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

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knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Yo mama so fat......Hiroshima.

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A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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this isn't an anti joke but you guys remember teletubbies?

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

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You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was Dead.

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Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

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What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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How do you give a cold sore to catnip? Because he needed lemon juice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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