WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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Q: What did the donkey say to the man? A: "Hello there, sir." it was later discovered the man was tripping on the hallucinogen LSD. Later on the man plummeted to his death after being convinced that he was a pterodactyl, and jumping off of a cliff.

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? Because he wanted to prove he wasn't a chicken.

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What did the girl say to the boy? You are a boy.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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what did the baby say to his mum? he sed bfirbvuirnvkjwmndckie

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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Q. Why did the 40 year old woman puts on a large amount of makeup? A. She may have gerontophobia.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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Well, I'm naked so I'm going to go.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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