What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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''Hey, this is absolutely true. There's an organization now called 'Draft Dick Cheney for President, 2012.' Yeah. Good luck with that. They tried to draft Dick Cheney five times during Vietnam. That didn't work.

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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Vagina Boob

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

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How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? Pancakes are not a feasible material with which to build a doghouse.

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Ahmed walks into Abbar. He apologized and they both continued about their jobs as sales assistants at Pottery Barn.

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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If John had eight apples and he eats three. Calculate the mass of the sun.

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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Why'd the girl fall off her bike? She rode over a curb

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops