What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

Anti - Jokes. com

Roses are red. I f***** a dude. you're a failed abortion. I never loved you.

What do Lincoln, JFK, and Barack Obama all have in common? They were all president of the United States of America and are relatively good people.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

A black man is seen next to a dead man. Who do you call? The ambulance.

a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

Is your refrigerator running? If so, you are on drugs, and should see help.

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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