A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To reach his desired destination.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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What happen when Sarah made but her nose in other people's business? Her vagina got set on fire by cole and derrek shoved your head up his ass!

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops