How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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How can a man go 8 days without sleeping? Sleep at night.

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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I have read and agreed to the Terms of Service

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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What do you get when you cross an orange with a gerbil? A mailbox that lights up when you open it

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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