Why Did Suzie fall of the swing? She has Polio and will die the Next Day

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Hi! Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Roughly 1150 pounds if a full grow male.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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