"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

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once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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What's funnier than 9/11? Nothing. 9/11 wasn't funny. It was a terrible tragedy, the most tragic in U.S. history. If you think that is funny you are a sick person. By: Logan in South Dakota

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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A: How do you piss off a female pilot? Q: Kill her family

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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