How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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A priest, a rabbi, and a buddhist monk walk into a bar. The bartender says " What are you drinking?"

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Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Why did the boy fall over? Because he broke his leg. Why did the second boy fall over? Because he was having a seizure.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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a ginger named corey walks into a bad and gets pistol whipped after raping his classmate

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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POOP.............................................. ITS THE FUNNEST WORD OF ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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