There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops