- Anti Joke

How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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You wanna see something really scary?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

The diamond one below is hilarious.

teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

Have you heard of that new jewish car? No, have you? No.

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

What's long hard and black A drain pipe

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.