When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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