Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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You're so retarded that people make fun of you and you laugh with them because you don't understand and just want some friends.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Why was the old man lying on the floor? He had a heart attack and died

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

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What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

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A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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What was wrong with the man watching a black and white television program? He wasn't watching a black and white television program at all-he actually had color blindness.

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what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

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What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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What's 2+2? Gonorrhea

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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a man was shot.... he died

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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