Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

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what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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